Are you achieving your goals as quickly as you’d like?
If not, why not?
Let’s evaluate some natural laws, and find hints to easily and passionately achieve your desired goals.
To create a result, it takes two distinct contributors plus energy. In nature, a doe, a buck, plus energy create a fawn. At a molecular level, hydrogen, oxygen, plus energy create water.
Doesn’t it make sense that it works the same way with your goals?
The two contributors are the thought (goal), the feelings (emotions), and energy (intensity of thoughts and feelings). In other words, the more intense and frequent the thought, and the more intense and frequent the feelings, the quicker the goal is realized.
Years ago, I believed that goal-setting was hoky-poky, airy-fairy stuff. I believed that if I worked reeeeeeeally hard, all would be fine. I’d have what I would need to “just get by,” and to be “comfortable.”
I refused to write goals, yet I was mentally setting goals as I planned what I was going to accomplish. I was farming, so it took long-term planning to arrange for seed, fertilizer, bulls, feed supply, mortgage payments, and a bushel of other things (pun intended).
My effectiveness was based upon the intensity and frequency of thought, and the intensity and frequency of feelings. I was excited about each venture, and the goals were achieved.
Now the monkey-wrench!
I was newly married - hmm, some challenges. We had some tough years with poor crops, livestock problems, and poor commodity prices. I was working physically hard for long, long days to “just get by.” My body was breaking down. Unconsciously, I chose a negative attitude. My thoughts, words, and feelings were negatively charged with intensity - awful-izing, should-izing, and generalizing.
“Things never work out for me!”
“This *&$%# back of mine always hurts! I feel like an old man.”
“Can’t she see that I’m bustin’ my butt around here? I don’t have time for fun things!”
“There’s no way that we can afford a holiday!”
“It’s going to be really tough to make that payment!”
There was physical intensity too. I perma-scowled, stomped, and waved my arms in the air. The words? Ooooh - foul and vehement (a pleasant way to describe them).
Guess what? I realized those goals very quickly. I created exactly what I passionately focussed on.
I finally became aware of what I was doing, and consciously chose to create positive success, rather than negative success.
• What are you creating in your life?
• Are your thoughts about the negatives - the “what if’s,” and “how come’s?”
• Do you awful-ize, poor-me-itize, should-ize, whine-itize, and blame-icate?
• Where do you place great intensity of emotions?
Here are my Hints for Health, Happiness, and Harmony.
Do not do these unless you are willing to scrutinize your every thought, word, and behaviour.
• Think deeply about the qualities and traits by which you aspire to live.
• Think deeply about things that you want to achieve, or create, in your career, relationships, and personal life. Choose goals in each area to maintain balance, otherwise you may focus on one area, and others will be neglected.
• Think about how you will feel as you achieve your goals.
• Jot these thoughts down, and create statements using positive, empowering, present tense words about you, your goals, and the feelings. Examples:
- I am a vibrantly strong, assertive, sensitive man.
- I passionately and powerfully give four full-fee speaking engagements per month.
- I am romantic and ecstatic as I luxuriate in weekly dates with my wife Carol (hey folks, make your own - Carol is my wife)
- I am worthy, deserving, and excitedly accepting an abundance of love and success in all areas of my life.
• Read your own statements to yourself at least twice a day - morning and evening.
• After reading each statement, close your eyes, visualize yourself, and feel the emotions as if the statement were true right now. The greater the intensity of the visualizations and feelings; the sooner the goals will be realized.
You may be thinking, “Ah, come on, Dan. I don’t have time for that.”
Then continue to do what you are doing. That is your choice.
If you are “just getting by,” “just comfortable,” or want more out of life, I challenge you to give these hints a whirl. Stretch yourself. Do it for at least 30 days to create a new habit.
I guarantee that you will ratchet your life forward, and experience greater happiness and success.
What do you have to lose by trying?
What do you have to gain?
Dan Ohler is Thinkin’ Outside The Barn!
Dan writes and speaks internationally on relationships, happiness, and change. He helps you learn the secrets to create life-long flourishing relationships and abounding success.
For FREE how-you-can-do-it-too articles, visit http://ThinkinOutsideTheBarn.com/
To order your copy of “Thinkin’ Outside The Barn And Steppin’ Into Fresh B.S.” visit http://ThinkinOutsideTheBarn.com/
Cultural and national negotiation styles reflect communication behaviors and the priorities of that culture. Priorities such as trust, teamwork, non-confrontational situations, and openness are all along a sliding scale with each culture. The communication behaviors of each culture reflect these priorities and can dictate how a culture will engage in negotiations. Often, Japanese and other Asian negotiators will plan a social event and dinner before any real negotiations occur. Likewise, Americans place an emphasis on taking clients out to dinner and a round of golf. Engaging in this type of activity builds trust and opens the line of communication between the two parties. Using persuasive techniques to “connect” with another person can lead to trust and the sense of a relationship being built. The negotiation styles of these two cultures mesh well, thus allowing them to understand the priorities of each other’s culture.
Once a relationship has been built on trust, the negotiators can begin sharing information. This level of openness is highly dependant on the level of openness for that country. This stage in negotiations require each party to fulfill their end of reciprocation - which can sometimes make one party feel like they are being confronted - but if done correctly can develop “quick trust” (Brett, 207). Quick Trust develops when two groups share information and allow the other party to see their weak side. Obviously developing trust is important, however some cultures simply may not be comfortable with divulging information quickly.
Getting Down to business: Using Culture to Persuade
Arguably one of the most important factors in negotiation is an understating of the culture in which you are engaging in negotiations. Cultures vary in their openness and in the time that business in conducted. Terms of agreements should be taken into consideration; for example, Italy has a 90-day billing cycle versus the “normal” USA 30-billing cycle. These cultural norms are very important for understanding how to succeed in negotiating on a global scale. Building relationships is the key for building trust among partners or potential clients. Trust can become an all encompassing factor when it comes time to make a final decision, the understanding of what is expected and following through will allow negotiations to flow smoothly.
Scott Fish
President, http://www.TopSatelliteRadio.com
President, http://www.lovestarbucks.com
Personal Blog: http://scottfish.blogspot.com
DISCUSSION METHODS: There are two basic types of discussion methods; the conference method and the workshop method. The conference method involves meetings of staff members, usually from the same organization, and is convened to pass on information, communicate management policies or decisions, or to solve organizational problems. These meetings are usually held for only one or two days, and generally consist of large discussion groups. The workshop method, on the other hand, is usually utilized when there are participants from a range of companies meeting for periods of longer than two days, for the purpose of devoting their attention to a specific problem or shared interest. The discussion groups tend to be small, and techniques such as role playing, case study, critical incident are commonly used.
GROUP DISCUSSION GUIDELINES: 1. Planning and Preparation. Research and prepare your lesson plans beforehand, just as you would for a lecture. Identify your objectives, and check for the availability of materials and training rooms. 2. Opening the Session. A good beginning, with opening comments carefully made and discussion objectives clearly defined, will eliminate misunderstanding and lay the groundwork for the session. 3. Presenting the Topic. Specifically define the purpose of the discussion. State the problem with the use of visual aids, then identify its importance for the participants. 4. Conducting the Discussion. During the course of the discussion, the trainer should try to encourage full trainee participation, and the greatest possible self-expression from each individual. It is helpful to ask pertinent, leading questions, as well as to give occasional summaries. You must listen carefully and attentively, for even a small lapse in attention may allow the conversation to move in the wrong direction. 5. Summarize the Discussion. At the end of the discussion, restate highlights that occurred during the course of the session. Paraphrase any conclusions.
TRAINING THROUGH GROUP DISCUSSIONS: In the end, the only certain way to learn the art of handling discussions is to try them for yourself see what works and what doesn’t, what seems to encourage new ideas and behavioral change and what serves only to use up your valuable time and that of trainees. The best guide for the beginner is to simply watch and listen, observe common rules of courtesy in speaking, and avoid an obviously manipulative role when you are influencing the course of the discussion. Once you have mastered the technique, you may find that you never want to use a lecture again!
Copyright AE Schwartz & Associates All rights reserved. For additional presentation materials and resources: ReadySetPresent and for a Free listing as a Trainer, Consultant, Speaker, Vendor/Organization: TrainingConsortium
CEO, A.E. Schwartz & Associates, Boston, MA., a comprehensive organization which offers over 40 skills based management training programs. Mr. Schwartz conducts over 150 programs annually for clients in industry, research, technology, government, Fortune 100/500 companies, and nonprofit organizations worldwide. He is often found at conferences as a key note presenter and/or facilitator. His style is fast-paced, participatory, practical, and humorous. He has authored over 65 books and products, and taught/lectured at over a dozen colleges and universities throughout the United States.
It is often much harder for women to get promoted than men. The most common characteristic of successful women is that they know how to express their excellence in a male dominated environment. How do they do it?
Most of us are promoted to due to our excellence expressed through one or two opportunities. These were usually based on ‘hard issues’ that contributed significantly to the business in some critical period.
In our promotion, was the assumption, that we could work out how to express our excellence universally. For most of us this has not been so straightforward. We have had difficulty getting our message to the right people at the right time.
The ‘critical periods’ of the business generally took care of either the soft issues - the people based priorities, or the hard issuesthe projects at hand, and we took care of the other.
Now that period is past and our leadership is being assessed on a different foundation. We are expected to lead on the soft and hard priorities of the business with equal competence.
The stock exchange intimately understands extraordinary performance to be leadership driven. Not all stocks command the same premiums, leadership and communication of the company vision is reflected in its stock price. When company management changes, stock prices reflect the mass perception of this change in leadership.
There has long been intense interest in the competencies that consistently deliver outstanding performance! Our knowledge of what causes the differences has increased dramatically. However, our ability to impart the knowledge broadly, to enable more people to achieve these results, has remained about the same. There is some assumption we have about how people learn high-level leadership skills that is not true.
There are three personal disciplines required of us to competently deliver results. All three are common knowledge, however only two are widely taught, externally measured and impartially assessed. The other is taught one-on-one and is measured objectively and subjectively.
Firstly, physical discipline - the willingness to work hard. Most knowledge workers intimately understand this. They work long hours, continually strive to fit more into each day and achieve quality decision-making. Physical discipline can be readily assessed externally, it is what we might call the breadth or scope of the work; how many issues we can manage simultaneously and not lose sight of our contribution to the vision.
Secondly, mental discipline - to be able to deal with the issue or meeting at hand, and handle it once. This requires us to leave other issues at the door. Sometimes this is easy and sometimes it is not. Mental discipline is the productivity of our leadership; how many sound decisions we are making that consistently support the vision.
Both these issues can be measured quantitatively to assess performance. The measurements are impartial and allow considerable flexibility of leadership style. Both disciplines are well understood and we can develop them readily in others.
Thirdly, we need emotional discipline. The ability to enable individuals, teams, or a community, to contribute to, or comply with our decisions.
This requires us to:
* Step aside from our own emotional reactions and so become
unattached to the personalities and problems associated with the
outcomes.
* Understand the emotional nature of our team, community or
Corporation, to enable communication of the meaning to each of them, and,
* Through this be able to engage them to the vision in a meaningful and consistent way for delivery of the results.
This is complex behaviour, with little common language. It has a powerful input to the results depending what is fuelled - engaging, disengaging or fence sitting!
Women therefore need to be able define their emotional intelligence to express their contribution.
Emotional intelligence is ability to express the above three competencies at the right time, the right place and to the right people. This expression is delivered through insightful moments.
Leadership is measured by our ability to command insight in the critical moments of projects and personal interactions.
This article may be reproduced in printed or web format, provided the resource box below is included.
Rosemary Johnston is a professional corporate and personal coach. Working with executives from some of Australia’s largest and most successful companies for over 15 years.
Rosemary’s new book, “How To Develop Your Leadership Style and Skills” is now available to download at her web site. Read about some of the success Rosemary has had coaching leaders in Australian blue chip companies. http://www.leadershipfirst.com.au
A while back, a potential client provided me with some general details of the writing work he wanted me to do for his company. Then he asked me to send him a proposal.
Proposal?! I panicked as I tried to confirm with him what he meant by that since I had never done one before, at least not as a freelancer.
I must’ve not really wanted to pursue this opportunity since I didn’t bother to do research or follow up with the company after submitting a contract instead of a proposal. A little time passed, I came across an article on writing RFPs (Request for Proposal). Ding! The light bulb went on. This guy verbally gave me his RFP and wanted a written response.
When a company needs a project to be completed by a contractor or outside source, they write a RFP. This is a formal document describing the project, how the contract companies should respond, how the proposals will be reviewed, and contact information. Often, the company documents the submission guidelines to make it easier for them to compare responses. There are no specific standards or guidelines for creating the RFP, but government agencies usually strict standards they follow when conducting the proposal process.
Outside companies read the RFP and write a proposal (a bid) explaining how they can best provide and meet those needs. When writing the proposal, the company should closely follow the guidelines established in the RFP to avoid being removed from consideration for the potential project.
A typical proposal contains:
- Executive summary - summary of the entire proposal
- Statement of need - why project is necessary
- Project description - How project will be implemented and evaluated
- Organization information
- Project schedule
- Budget
- Conclusion
My situation was an informal version of all this. The client gave me a high level overview of what I might do for him. If I knew then what I know now, I would’ve written up a description of the client’s needs and how I would complete the work in meeting those needs.
Small businesses would likely do a proposal in between the one I got and the complex government required ones. Most small businesses will be prompted to write a proposal when approaching a client. The client may ask you to submit a proposal outlining what you can do for them. In this case, write a proposal including the elements of a typical proposal and keep it short and to the point especially if the client is not a large company.
There are examples of RFPs and responses peppered throughout the Web, but which one you can learn from depends on the type of work involved. A proposal can be two pages or as big as a book. Rely on your favorite search engine and do the research to create an unbeatable proposal.
Meryl K. Evans (www.meryl.net),
Content Maven, is the editor of eNewsletter Journal and Shavlik’s The
Remediator Security Digest. She writes columns for PC Today, InformIT,
and MarketingProfs. Contact her to get content that inspires action or
check out her blog (www.meryl.net/blog/) that’s been around since June 2000.
