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Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 5, 2004
I am a captain in the Marine Corps. A year ago my wife cheated on me with another Marine. He lived in an apartment facing ours, which I passed every day on my way to work. She was my girlfriend at the time, and she told me because she felt guilty about it. She said it only happened once.
She said she never talked to the guy again except to tell him to leave her alone. I married her even after I found out because I love her and because I feel everyone deserves a second chance. I hold a lot of anger inside about it, especially since I worked on the same base with him. He left a little while ago for another assignment, and the apartment is empty now.
My question is how do you stop thinking about it? I picture it in my mind like a broken record. I don’t want to keep hounding my wife over this. I want to get over it and move on. But I just get kind of sick when I think of his hands on her. I wonder if she will do it again, and I wonder if I am not good enough, especially in bed.
To be honest, I don’t know why she cheated other than she was unhappy about money and about moving to a new base. She stated she wanted him from the minute she saw him and he was the best looking man she had ever seen. I am so insecure over this it is unreal. I have never and would never cheat.
Monty
Monty, forty years ago Roy Orbison sang, “It breaks your heart in two, To know she’s been untrue.” Today Puddle of Mudd sings, “…have to find a way to take the knife out of my back.” Forty years from now someone else will be singing the same story, and it will sound like the same old broken record.
Even when you no longer see this man’s empty apartment, looking at your wife will be a reminder of what happened. The who, when, and where don’t matter. What matters is that no reason she gave you justifies cheating. What matters is that you rewarded the one who caused you pain with a wedding. Now you have made the pain a full-time part of your life.
She gave you a losing ticket, and you gave her the prize. Your anger is simply the other side of the fear she will do it again. You tried to avoid the pain of losing her, but once she was unfaithful, she was already gone. You needed to work through that pain and move on with someone who would be faithful. The title of Roy Orbison’s 1964 song, “It’s Over,” holds your answer.
Tamara
Rewiring
Our divorce will be final in five weeks. My wife blames me for everything which went wrong in our relationship, and I admit some things were my fault. However, in the time we were together she never once said she was sorry or understood where I was coming from.
Foolishly I still feel obligated to her. She calls and asks me for favors. She starts talking nicely, then tells me what a horrible person I am. I leave these conversations feeling emotionally and spiritually drained. I don’t want to say hurtful things to her, yet I need this to stop. I guess part of me still hopes for reconciliation.
Ozzie
Ozzie, your wires are crossed. Abuse and love are opposites. Once you uncross your wires it will change your whole perspective. It will shed light on new relationships as well as your old one. For the next five weeks, to thy old self be true. Once the divorce is final, change your phone number. Your wife has given you a great gift, the chance to discover what love actually is.
Wayne
About The Author
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
“You are the salt…of the world” (Matthew 5:13).
Salt is both a seasoning and a preservative. We sprinkle spiritual salt on our anger to turn it into meekness; on our bitterness to change it into forgiveness; on our doubts to change them into faith; on our inclination to gossip so we may change this malignant habit into acceptance of others; on our restlessness so we may become content with life. The seasoning and preservative is found in God’s Word, for it is here and here only that we find the code of conduct for our lives.
Jesus told His disciples and us in His Sermon on the Mount that His people are savors of others. Salt, to be effective, works quietly and unobtrusively. We go out into the world and act and speak with grace seasoned with the salt of compassion and encouragement. A wise word is spoken in reason as well as in season. Jesus also lamented salt-less salt: “It is no longer good for anything…” (Matthew 5:13). How it must grieve Him when we don’t live up to the potential, the nobility, He has given us. “How the gold has lost its luster, the fine gold become dull!” (Lamentations 4:1).
Therold gives an excellent description of one who has lost the flavor of Christianity: “The bane of the Church of God, the dishonor of Christ, the laughingstock of the world, is in that far too numerous body of half alive Christians who choose their own cross, and shape their own standard, and regulate their own sacrifices, and measure their own devotions; whose sacrifices do not deprive them of a single comfort from one year’s end to another, and whose devotions never make their dull hearts burn with the love of Christ.”
Okay, we’re finally ready to dive headlong into the meat of astrology, the astrological chart itself. This is where the foundation of your astrological influences is laid out. A trained astrologer can look at your astrological chart and tell a lot about you just from a glance. By going into depth he can tell even more. So, the questions that need to be answered are, what is an astrological chart, what’s on it and how to you make one for a person?
To answer those questions in real depth would take a book in itself. For the purposes of this article we’re going to just give you the basics. You can then do further study on your own if you really want to dive into creating and reading your own astrological chart.
An astrological chart is derived from some basic information about your birth. In order to create one, what is needed is your exact date of birth including the exact time. For example, December 12, 1982, at 7:15 PM. Also what is needed is the exact latitude and longitude coordinates of the place where you were born. You’re probably wondering, why do we need all this info? The reason is simple. The planets are constantly moving every second of every day. Plus, the relationship of where you are to each planet changes based on where on Earth you are at the time of your birth. That’s why somebody born on April 5, 1987, at 8:10 AM will have a different astrological chart from somebody born on the exact same date and time if they are born in Germany and the other person is born in Alaska.
The actual technical skill required to put together an astrological chart is mind boggling. However, with computer technology, you can now simply input the information into a program and have your whole chart of when you were born spit out for you. That is about 90% of the battle itself. The rest of the battle is simply interpreting the chart.
An astrological chart contains an enormous amount of information. While all of it is important, some of it is more important than other parts in that the majority of the information derived from the chart comes from these few pieces.
The main thing your chart is going to tell you is what planets were in what houses at the time of your birth. This is important because each planet has a specific influence on certain aspects of your personality depending on which planet it is and what house it occupies. If you’ve taken a basic science course in school then you know that the 9 planets are Mercury, Venus, Mars, Saturn, Neptune, Jupiter, Uranus and Pluto as well as our own Earth. The Earth however is not included in the chart because it is the planets that affect the Earth and not the other way around. So since you know what the planets are, you then need to know what the houses are to know what influences the planets affect.
There are 12 houses, Identity, Spirituality, Community, Ethics and Career, Beliefs, Transformation, Relationships, Work and Service, Creativity, Home and Family, Knowledge and Self Worth. Each of these houses has control over a variety of what you might call sub houses or categories. For example, relationships come in all sizes such as friends, business and relatives. A house is more complex that just its general description.
To simplify the whole process, your chart is read by figuring out which planet is in which house at your birth and thus determining what the major influences are in your life. From the chart we get your sun sign, which is your main sign and a number of other pieces of information. The main pieces give the basic characteristics of your personality and influences. The minor pieces go into more detail, which we will do in future articles.
Michael Russell
Your Independent guide to Astrology
It is hard to capture the synchronicity of this next post. I can only assure you that I was working on integrating these things for this book and this post from a healer came through in answer to my directed thought or intent-ional request. Intent is a vital element of magical operations. Here is my response to this post I believe helped me integrate these thoughts.
“Hi
Yes, the energy lattices are most interesting.
Last night I was writing about the homeopathic tincture that when diluted enough times has none of the actual original poison in it and yet that poison lattice or intelligence remains. There is some rudimentary consciousness, such as allows
the muons separated in deep mines at Sudbury to communicate, in all energy. It is affinitely connected across space and time as I have written about at great length before. I was discussing the Cyanide in peach pits that Laetrile utilizes, to be specific.
Now I find this response including a sigil visualized in another dimension by a healer on this seldom used site. By your thought of healing and taking the negative energy of the sick person away from them and encasing it where that energy will not return you are doing something like Dr. Masaru Emoto has scientifically replicated with water crystals. Crystalline structural intelligence is a major part of the shaman’s work throughout over more than a million years as I see it. In his work we find the crystals respond to music or thought and convey a range of emotions or beauty. Your thoughts are an evidence of synchronicity that helped me clarify my thoughts this morning. Integrating all these things is something I will now do.”
Author of Diverse Druids, Columnist for The ES Press Magazine, Guest ‘expert’ at World-Mysteries.com
